Riverside Community Church

When People Fail Me

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

 Have you had trouble in your life?

What about the trouble of fear, fear of loss, fear of abandonment

What about the trouble of worry, worried about the future or worried about a relationship

What about the trouble of finances, -no money, got bills

What about the trouble of sorrow (last week)

And what about the trouble when people fail me, or hurt me.

Today we look at the trouble when people fail me, or hurt me.

 

  • have you ever been hurt by someone’s words to you or words behind your back -that’s troubling

  • have you been deceived by someone or have someone not fulfill a promise to you - that’s troubling

  • have you ever had failed expectations concerning another, they acted poorly towards you and it troubles you

  • Failed marriages, failed families, failed friendships even failed churches have the root cause in ‘when people fail me or hurt me   -it’s trouble for sure - and our soul hurts when this occurs,  Our stomach churns when we recall the events, the words and our hearts ache deeply with this relational type of trouble

People can be cruel, unkind, mean, selfish, hurtful, callous, harmful, spiteful, insensitive, inappropriate, fail us even and relationally sinfull to us.

 JUST TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR -we’re all sinners

 So we too can be cruel, unkind, mean, selfish, hurtful, callous, harmful, spiteful, insensitive, inappropriate, fail others and relationally sinfully to others

 

We don’t like to admit our wrong doing but rather we rationalize our words/action with -they hurt me first or we try to justify our reactionary words/action with  -they started it.

 

In the end when people fail us or hurt us, usually a lot of people fail each other and a lot of people get hurt

UNLESS WE ACT LIKE JESUS

               UNLESS WE FOLLOW JESUS’S EXAMPLE.

 

When you’re troubled when people fail you or hurt you

Be like Jesus all day long in the home and in the throng

 

I’ll unpack that in a moment but first I want you to know relational trouble is common, very common -in fact we all have this trouble this drama in our lives -it’s dealing with it like Jesus that yields us peace in our lives.

David had this anguish, this trouble with people

Psalm 27 (8 verses)

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—     whom shall I fear?

Whom is other people -don’t fear what people think of you The Lord is the stronghold of my life—     of whom shall I be afraid?

Whom is other people -don’t fear what they can do to you.

2 When the wicked (those who act sinfully towards you) advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. …

5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.

7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me (forgive me) and answer me. 8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. …

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path     because of my oppressors. …

14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

 

When people hurt you, when people oppose you, when people fail you do what David did  -

Turn to the Lord

8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Jesus said: 11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

 Note: that Jesus also inferred in that statement that you were innocent but that you were hurt by others because of Him, because of righteousness

-be innocent (really innocent) of wrong doing yourself and then turn to the Lord, seek His face

 When people hurt you, when people fail you, do what Jesus said to do

 Bless Them

Luke 6:27-29 NIV

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you (hurt you, mistreat you) pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.

Following Christ, doing what He says is sooo anti-natural. So opposite our natural tendency but it is sooo God-like

 

 Luke 6:

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

 -do not retaliate, defend yourself, hurt back but rather bless them, do good to them, pray when people hurt you, when people fail you do what Jesus told us BE MERCIFUL

 

When people hurt you, when people fail you, do what Paul said to do

Forgive Them

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

-as you have been forgiven, then forgive others

        -you have been forgiven much, forgive others 70 X 7 times

-hold no grudge, hold no animosity, hold no resentment, hold no hatred, hold no bitterness against those who hurt you but forgive them

 

An illustration:

I recall when through the wrong actions of another, Marilyn and I had to sell our home, cash in all our savings to pay a debt that we did not cause but was caused by another, that I turned to God in prayer and I forgave him that same day.

I remember thinking that you may have meant that for evil but God can use this mess for good. My God is bigger than all my troubles. I forgave

 

When people hurt you, when people fail you do what Jesus told us  (you may not like this one)

Control Yourself

-you and I are responsible for ourselves, our words, actions and reactions when people hurt us, do evil to us, slander us and mistreat us

-we walk a different path, we follow Jesus and you know the path that Jesus took

*Jesus said ‘pick up your cross and follow me’

So when people hurt, mistreat, offend you PICK UP THAT CROSS AND BEAR IT

Turn to God, bless them, forgive them and practice self-control

 

2 more brief points

1 -Don’t be easily offended or oversensitive this needs to be controlled

2 - If you are  in this trouble of hurt right now, something in the past said or done to you IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO FOLLOW THESE STEPS OF PRAYING TO GOD, OF BLESSING THEM AND FORGIVING THEM

-maybe it’s a more recent hurt trouble, family, friends other Christians or even non-Christians IT’S TIME, RIGHT NOW, TODAY TO FOLLOW THESE STEPS OF PRAYING TO GOD, OF BLESSING THEM AND FORGIVING THEM

This is the Jesus way.

Oct 9, 2022